May 14, 2009: Hurricane High Gravity

Tonight was one of those nights when I suddenly realized that it was almost midnight, I hadn't had my beer for the night yet, and my beer drawer was completely empty. D'oh! You'd think that I would be on top of things enough by this point to have created some sort of system by which I was never without a new beer when I need one, but no. It turns out that I still haven't learned my lesson, and I found myself sitting around with no beer and few options. Normally I prefer to buy my beers from specialty shops that carry a wide selection of quality beers and interesting microbrews, but tonight I'm heading down to Ralph's and I'm looking to buy whatever I can find quickly and on the cheap. As I'm walking down the beer aisle, my heart is beginning to sink. Newcastle? done. Tecate? done. Corona? .....eh, not tonight. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. That's all that is going through my mind at this point. I've either had most of the beers that they have to offer or I'm not willing to be overcharged for an inferior beer that I know I almost certainly not going to enjoy. Could I possibly miss a day because of my own pride and stupidity? Just as I'm about to give up hope, I see a shining silver beacon of hope glistening in the corner of my eye; Hurricane High Gravity Lager.
Hurricane High Gravity is perhaps the epitome of the last resort when it comes to beer. No one likes Hurricane High Gravity except for hopeless old drunks and cheap bastards. I like to think of myself as fitting more into the latter category, although this blog is probably evidence that I fit into the first category as well. Hurricane High Gravity is terrible. I mean aboslutely god awful, tastes like someone pissed in your beer can when you weren't looking, wouldn't even drink it if your wife had just left you and your dog just died. pours a sickly pale yellow, but no one pours this beer into a glass. This is the kind of beer that you slam straight from the can as you try to hold your breath and gulp it all down before your tastebuds realize what is going on. You know when your walking down the street in a place like downtown Los Angeles and you see a dirty old bum on the streets sipping on something from a paper bag? I'd be willing to bet you ten to one that it's Hurricane High Gravity Lager in that bag (or maybe Steel Reserve). This was my very first, and very last time drinking Hurricane High Gravity Lager. Consume at your own risk!

Cheers!
Ian

http://www.anheuser-busch.com/