March 9, 2009: Taj Mahal

Dear India,
We've been through a lot together over the past few months. We've had our good times and bad times, up and downs, and I've stood by you almost the entire way. I defended you when others said there were no good beers from India. I laid aside my principles and expectations as a critical beer drinker to let myself experience everything you had to offer in terms of beer. We started out pretty well and you surprised me with the sheer drinkablity of some of your beers.

Something has changed lately though. There seems to be the weird distance between us and I don't feel like we're connecting like we used to. I'm finding it harder and harder to stand by and defend you when you continue to produce inferior beers. At first I thought we were just going through a rocky patch, and I figured we'd be able to ride it out. I don't know, maybe you would come around with some new beer that I hadn't tried yet and just sweep me off my feet. I was hoping that Taj Mahal could give us that fresh spark that we needed to rekindle our romance. How wrong I was.

You knew how I felt about that Himalaya Blue crap you tried on me the other day. Why in God's name would you come at me just two days later with practically the same beer? I mean, look at these pictures. The beer looks almost identical, India. It's like you didn't even try to do something different and that's what really hurts. Taj Mahal was so boring, I couldn't stand it. I like my beer to be robust and flavorful, not bland and watery. Taj Mahal was everything that I hate about a bad beer. It's not easy to say this, but I think you've let me down for the last time. We need a break from each other. Clearly you're not capable of producing standard of beer that I came to expect from you so early on. Maybe I was being naive and I just looked past all of your shortcomings because I wanted to like you so much. But I can't pretend anymore, India. I deserve to drink a good beer, and Taj Mahal is simply not going to cut it. I thought that maybe we had something really good going here, and as much as it hurts, I think it's best if we just go our separate ways for the time being. Feel free to come back when you've got something better than Taj Mahal to offer me.

A la Sature,
Your ex-lover Ian

P.S. I just thought that you should know that I've been seeing a lot of Germany lately. I just wanted to warn you so it won't be too be awkward if you run into us somewhere. xoxo

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